Founding Announcement
Date: January 1, 2026 Classification: Public Update Distribution: All Stakeholders
After years of corporate strategy sessions (also known as band practice), we're pleased to announce the official formation of Hamster Wheel Operations.
Mission Statement
Our mission is simple: to provide the soundtrack to your professional suffering while offering exactly zero solutions.
We recognize that modern workplace culture has created a unique environment—one where everyone is moving forward but no one is quite sure toward what. Where alignment is discussed more often than achieved. Where productivity is measured in meetings attended rather than problems solved.
What We Do
Hamster Wheel Operations translates these realities into aggressive soundscapes. Every riff represents a meaningless meeting. Every breakdown mirrors organizational collapse. Every solo is someone trying to innovate while everyone else is just trying to survive.
Core Principle
We're not here to fix the problem. We're here to play it at maximum volume.
Looking Ahead
As we move forward (in circles), we're committed to:
- Maintaining forward motion regardless of destination
- Converting ambiguity into noise
- Ensuring that effort remains visible, even when impact does not
Join Us
Follow our journey as we navigate the endless cycle of workplace dysfunction, one distorted chord at a time.
Running efficiently in circles since Q1.
For inquiries, escalations, or existential dread, please reach out through proper channels. Or don't. We'll probably miss it anyway.