Incident Reports & Updates
Chronicles from the hamster wheel
Incident Report #004: Sustainable Urgency EP - A Complete System Failure
A catastrophic organizational incident spanning five distinct workplace failure modes has resulted in our debut EP. Five songs. Five systemic crises. Zero solutions. Maximum urgency sustained indefinitely.
Jan 26, 2026 • Max Burnham, CEO
Incident Report #003: Burnout Chart Release Event
A critical incident involving the systematic normalization of human exhaustion through metrics, dashboards, and corporate wellness theater has resulted in our latest single.
Jan 14, 2026 • Max Burnham, CEO
Incident Report #002: Quarter Gods Release Event
A critical incident involving ritualistic metric worship and the emergence of divine KPIs has resulted in our first single.
Jan 02, 2026 • Max Burnham, CEO
Founding Announcement
After years of corporate strategy sessions (also known as band practice), we're pleased to announce our formation.
Jan 01, 2026 • Max Burnham, CEO